A Momentary Challenge to My Belief in the Goodness of Humanity

I was in Kohl’s today shopping for Jenna’s son’s 10^th birthday present. I headed to the Boys 8-20 section (seriously… 8-20?  seems like a crazy large range for “boys” sizes in one section), already feeling totally out of my shopping league. Jenna said size ten, but the Nike shirts were labeled in S, M, L, and XL. I texted Jenna. Twice. Nothing. I called Allison, hoping she might lend some of her mommy intuition help. Nothing. I held up the shirt to the approximate height of Gavin, guesstimating whether or not the M or L was better. In a moment of desperation, I scanned the aisles for some help. Ah! A woman with two boys, and one of them about Gavin’s size. I walked toward her, smiling, holding the shirt just slightly in front of me. As I approached, still smiling, she looked over at me with suspicious, almost alarmed, eyes. She immediately, instinctually, backed up away from my direction, prodding her sons to do the same. I didn't understand. I was smiling. I was wearing my red cowgirl boots, a funky cute jean dress, and my pearls, and I was smiling… what in the world could be startling or intimidating about me? I heard her speaking another language to her sons as I slowly got nearer, and I gently asked her if she spoke English. She replied, “A little.” I softly told her about my predicament, asked her if she could give me any advice, and then she softened, pushed her Gavin-sized son my way, and invited my hands to bring the shirt near to him for measure. She nodded, giving me approval that the L shirt would work. I looked into her eyes, thanked her, did the same to her son, smiled more, and then walked away. 

I imagined why she might have resisted my advance, why it might have made her nervous, why she might have drawn back at my approach. Then it occurred to me that perhaps there have been other situations like this, but unlike this. Perhaps others notice her headscarf, her long garb, and approach her with a different demeanor, without smiles, without gentleness, and certainly without compassion. I couldn’t help but feel sad, deeply saddened at the thought of it, at the thought of someone giving her reason to fear my approach in a department store. My suspicions at the cause of her reaction made me feel disappointed in how humans can behave toward one another. And then, trying to turn my sadness around, I hoped that maybe, after her experience with me today, when I looked into her eyes, when I took time to think about her situation and try to put myself into her shoes, that just maybe she won’t resist next time someone approaches her and her sons.