Most of you know that I love reading. What person pursues
this much schooling studying literature and the written word if not out of
love? Since this was a crazy year in terms of my reading load, studying for my
qualifying exams and all, I decided to review the books I read this year to see
which ones inspired me most. Surprisingly, only one of the books I selected was
part of my exam preparation! All of the books listed below were either
recommended by a friend or from one of my spiritual mentors or a professor. In
short, here is a list of books I read in 2014 that changed my life in some
profound way, and so I will advocate on their behalf in hopes that you will
consider making them part of your reading for 2015. Enjoy!
This book is at the top because it had the greatest impact
on my life. Having gone through a divorce this year, I became even more
obsessed with trying to understand the key to making romantic relationships work…I
don’t want to fail again and/or hurt another person in the process. So though I’ve
read over the years many many many
books on creating a healthy relationship and healing wounds from the past, this
one is special because it links the two—our past determines how we select a
partner in the present. My friend Jacque recommended it to me, and once I began
reading, I was completely fascinated. The book begins by explaining how a
person’s idea of love was formed from the first years of life, and this idea of
love creates an imago (or image) of what love is and looks like based on the behaviors
given by the early caretakers. Basically, a person goes through life looking
for a partner who exhibits this same familiar love as based on the imago in
hopes of healing old wounds. Sounds great at first, but because both partners
tend to be unaware of this process, the cycle designed to heal actually becomes
a cycle to sabotage the partnership, and instead of healing one another, the
couple enters the “power struggle,” as Hendrix terms it. The book explains all
of this through anecdotes and psychology and then provides a series of
exercises for the partners to do together in order to help the relationship
transcend the power struggle and move toward permanent healing for both, which
of course leads to “getting the love you want,” as promised by the title.
A few weeks ago, I saw the film "The Theory of Everything," which was completely inspiring. In fact,
a song that is very meaningful to me plays at the end, and hearing it in
theatre was the perfect accompaniment to what was an already heightened
emotional state due to the powerful message of this film, of this incredible
man’s life. So first, go see it on the big screen. Then, pick up A Brief History of Time, Hawking’s book
for the non-specialist, which would certainly be me! He discusses theories of
the universe dating back to the Greeks and offers a great survey of quantum
mechanics… again, suited for the non-specialist. My big takeaway is that physics supports the paradigm by which I live life: it is all
one beautiful mystery.
In this book, Dr. Myss explores the spirit in the same way a
person studying the physical body would think about anatomy. Her findings were
fascinating to me because I previously thought of the spirit as an intangible
entity that was shrouded in mystery. However, by synthesizing beliefs from four
major world religions, Myss uncovers the anatomy of spirit, which ultimately
presents the seven stages a person goes through to reach spiritual maturity. As
someone who finds value in all spiritual walks of life, I was absolutely delighted
to learn about Myss’s discovery and how these congruous stages in the religions
offer a more holistic truth about spirit.
My nutrition and general well-being guru has just this year
(as in a few months ago) published his life-changing book on holistic health. Glidden
uses the acronym FARMERS to systematically go through all areas of life where
being and living can be improved, can be made more healthy. The organization of
this book makes it very user-friendly; he uses the AED Model (Awareness,
Education, Discipline), to structure each chapter, and this helps readers implement
their new knowledge into daily life. It is a practical and easy-to-do guide for
changing your life… mind, body, and spirit.
Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means
for Modern Relationships
by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha
by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha
I have to give a warning with this one. If you are exceedingly
happy believing in monogamy, then don’t read this book! I recommend it only for
the open-minded and perhaps not-so-hard-and-fast monogamists out there. The
authors tell their tale with an abundance of wit and humor, which makes it fun to
join them in their exploration. I also got a kick out of their creative
presentations of anthropology and their thorough study of the sexual habits of apes.
Not only is this book wildly entertaining, it also offers an important insight
to keep in mind about our animal selves. If nothing else, it helped me think
much more scientifically about the sexual behaviors and urges of humans, which
is a good thing for any reader… the more we understand, the more compassion,
forgiveness, and humor we can have about all things concerning sex. And I think
that’s a good thing!
This book appeared on the required reading for my qualifying
examination in nineteenth-century US literature, and it stood out from the
others because it presents one of the most obvious yet shocking lenses through
which to study our nation’s history. I had no idea how deeply and profoundly Puritan
ideology infused itself into the identity-shaping of the Americas, specifically
what is now the United States. Understanding where we began and where we have
been as a nation provides much perspective on where we are now and where we
might be heading. It also helps explain why and how we are still so puritanical
in some of our more traditionally held beliefs. Again, gaining a true understanding
is the place to begin, and compassion stems from there.
When the journal I work for, Foothill: a journal of poetry, was preparing questions to interview
Claudia Rankine for our latest issue, I decided to add to my collection of her
works her most recent publication of prose poems, Citizen: An American Lyric, which focuses on racism in the US by
discussing media, sports, academia, and the poet’s personal experiences. Since
I have read this year more than I have ever read in years past, that this book
stands out from the others is kind of a big deal. And it stands out because it
haunts me still. It helped me see some truths, unpleasant truths, about
humanity, but more specifically, about people living in the United States. At a
time when and in a place where injustice after injustice after injustice occurs,
this book’s depictions of racism hit the core of the problem plaguing our
nation. The poet’s masterful prose left me in a state of disbelief, where I was
simultaneously riveted and horrified at the thought of reading on. It is powerful,
to say the very least; a book you don’t easily shake off.
This approximately 3300-page novel is a feat for even the
most literary loving among us! I read this behemoth of a book for a
sixteen-week course I audited in the spring, and it makes my list here for two
reasons. The first is obvious: to finish it at all is a huge accomplishment,
one a large percentage of the population will never have the satisfaction of
completing or even attempting. The second is simple: its themes are universally
relevant, dealing with desire, unrequited love, the meaning of life, our
obsession with the past, the futile task of trying to regain lost time, and
what it means to reflect on one’s life. If the thought of reading 3300 pages is
too daunting, then I would say to just pick up the first part of the novel, Swann’s Way.
